Skip to main content
many things happened recently. 
well lets say that there are the good and bad ones.

good:
i got a new phone (and i am blogging from it now )
i have more motovation for studying now. at least i think so.
i think i am more certain of my life goals now

bad:
my dog would not be staying with me anymore. in fact he moved out yesterday...
and i am despondent. my dad is moving out tomorrow.
sigh. im only typing it out here because i can find no comfort among my friends.
everyone just give me sad face, things like that
sometimes i really wonder if they really care.
at least if you dk what to do, just asking 'are you ok?' would be fine.
i know i did say it is a no brainer question. but at least show some concern.
in your head you might care but i dont see it.
i feel like i have lost something, so just give me some reassurance can anot?
sometimes i really wonder how life will be like even though i know i would be able to go through it all

obviously i can
but it is what goes on inside me that matters.
i dont want to spend days worrying about finances 
or for how long more my dog would live
or whether my dad would be doing well.
what if i cant accept anything?
even though i knew this day would come
i have never given much thought about it

yes i do pity myself. sometimes when you experience this kind of things
or get a life threatening disease, you WILL ask. "why me?"
i wish i was a normal girl with a happy family
but nothing will be what you want it to be

im thinking if i suffer now i would not have to suffer later in life. no?
i believe in balance. you have a good day you have a bad day.
so if there is a phase in your life when you are unhappy
there will be another phase in life that is t
he opposite

too much of both isnt good.

yes so i hope for a better future
inevitably shitt moulds you into a better person
i hope, im about to reach nirvana
i pray that any god out there help me get through this

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Arslan Senki is one badass anime

Spring 2015 anime has already been ongoing for awhile, and I've been watching these titles: Owari no Seraph Nisekoi S2 Shokugeki no Soma Arslan Senki Plastic Memories Ore Monogatari Out of all of these, I would have to say that Arslan Senki is my favourite!  Ok with as little spoilers as possible... Arslan is the prince and apparent heir of the throne in the undefeated Kingdom of Pars. His father, King Andragoras, is the king known to have led his army to victory at every war, making his army formidable and seemingly without equal. But of course, going undefeated makes the kingdom and the king full of themselves and eventually led to a crushing defeat in the war against Lusitania. The king is nowhere to be found and the kingdom of Pars is just about to be invaded by the swarming armies of Lusitania.  Also, a little of backdrop, Lusitania is a country which believes in a god (forgot the name) and abhors the idea of slavery. Their religion speaks of ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fully Redeemed by His Blood

It has been a few years since I last wrote a post. You could say I was Spirit-led to my old blog - perhaps to recall the negativity, nonchalance, and frustrations of my teenage years, which I now find difficult to remember.  Why can't I remember them despite having written many posts about my emotions, as a way to process them? Because I have been redeemed by God. For the past 2 years, God worked in me and brought me out of my misery, a misery I thought would never get out of.  Today - about 3, 4 years since my last update - I write to share that my life has changed for the better. In fact, it is fantastic.  I can now breathe.  I laugh freely with much less fear of what is to come.  I have hope. I have dreams. I am no longer lonely. I am feeling more complete than ever with God.  It sounds too good to be true. But IT IS. It is what it is. It's too good, but it's true.  If you're having doubts, I understand you. I used to be a skeptic. I hated Christian...
Post a Comment
Read more

The INFP Diary: Chapter 2

So tonight on my way back from work, I guess I was tired and wanted to stare into space for awhile. But not really that kinda stare into space. It's those kind of daydreaming in which you are still aware of your surroundings. In fact, you notice the surroundings more.   On the train, I was staring out the window. With my earphones on, I was essentially in my own world. As the train trailed past buildings, I found myself marvelling at the beauty of 'sceneries' created by buildings and the lights they each bear. That moment, I was reminded of Final Fantasy X and the Zanarkand cut scenes. and then suddenly I realised how good Square Enix's graphics are to resemble reality so much.   The same was happening while I was taking the bus back. I guess we never really took a good look at our surroundings because we are all so tired and so absorbed into whatever we are doing. It's through daydreaming that I can tell that I'm finally relaxing. Usually I am stre...
Post a Comment
Read more